Welcome to 2023!
I am sure you have given some good thought to this year's goals and resolutions. After all, the spirit of any new year is "new year, new you."
However, let's be honest and admit that goal setting as recommended (SMART GOALS) only works for a select group of people. Countless stats on the failure of new year's resolutions prove the point.
Through personal experience and working with many clients, I have had the opportunity to hone in on different approaches that prove more successful, which I will share below. But before I do, let's take a quick look at why most new year's resolutions fail.
Most goals/resolutions fail because of one or a combination of these six main reasons:
Lack of Clarity: We are not clear on what we want; instead, we are distracted by "noise" or the illusion of what we should want to accomplish.
Lack of Alignment: The said goal does not align with our values or why.
Lack of Confidence: We don't believe we deserve it or can make it happen, i.e., mindset and inner programming.
We have a deep internal resistance (aka dread/ energy drain) toward the goal: we see it as a shore or imposed task instead of something that energizes us, and we choose to participate.
We get overwhelmed by the magnitude of the goal: Get stuck overthinking how.
Lack of accountability: Do not have someone or a group that helps be accountable while in the process.
For the purpose of this blog, I will leave the mindset conversation for my next post. For now, let's jump right in.
Tip #1 Define Your Vision and Core Values
In my December newsletter, I encouraged my community to start planning for the following year with the end in mind, which means to start by envisioning what/who you like to be at the end of 2023. You can also spend time reflecting on your conscious values (the values we choose to live by) to get clear on what is truly important and align goals, intentions, and actions that will honor them.
Tip #2 Follow the Feelings to Clarify Next Actions
In a world where we are conditioned to ignore or put our feeling to the side, this advice might sound completely bonkers. However, research on decision-making shows us that feelings trump logic, as 80% of our decisions are made with our feelings.
If we want to facilitate personal change, we need to ask ourselves how we would like to feel going forward instead of choosing pure logic or outcome-based goals.
Ask yourself: How would you like to feel at the end of 2023? What actions do you need to take or stop to get to that feeling?
If deciding on the ideal feeling becomes hard, start with the feelings you naturally dislike or are draining you. After all, it is proven that we can easily identify what we don't like than what we like and start designing actions that will remove the drain or get you to the end feeling you desire.
Tip #3 Declare Your Intentions or Overarching goal… in writing
It's a fact that putting things in writing helps with accountability. Writing down your overarching goals or intentions as you identify them will help solidify your commitment. These statements can be assessed daily, weekly, or monthly as you progress. Be bold and adjust where needed. I can tell you that being nimble is also important when setting ourselves up for success. As any health instructor will tell you: modify as needed but keep moving; the same applies here.
Tip #4 Chunk down that big scary goal
If you follow me and read my blogs /newsletter, you know this was coming. As I like to say, instead of focusing and getting overwhelmed by the magnitude of the task, take one tiny step forward. What small action can you take today toward that big goal? Keep in mind that small actions will lead you to big results as long as you keep going at it.
Tip # 5 Plan for obstacles ahead
Often at the end of a coaching session, when my clients already have decided on an action plan, I like to ask: what can get in the way that might derail the plan? This simple exercise of foreseeing any worse-case scenarios often makes fears and hesitations diffused. As a result, a tremendous increase in confidence and subsequent success follows.
Get it done with these five tips.
When we set a goal, typically, we are doing so in hopes of achieving a better version of ourselves. Therefore, stopping and considering the "why" behind these goals is important. But the work still needs to be done there. Taking aligned action and foreseeing bumps in the road is also important.
I hope these tips have shown you how to move past the typical pitfalls and set and, more importantly, maintain your new year commitments.
And if you are looking for an accountability partner to help you get across the finish line, connect with me. I'll love to help you reach your goals. To schedule a time to talk, please do reach out here.